I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
