i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
