This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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