I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
