didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
why do cheetos always look like penises
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
