I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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