So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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