I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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