I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Couch. On fire.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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