Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
