My liver just broke up with me...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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