i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
