Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The Olympian is in my bed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize