I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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