You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
