My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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