At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
its not stalking. its research.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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