508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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