I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
