so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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