love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
they need to just BURY HIM!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize