playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
