he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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