it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
