all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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