Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
