he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
