All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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