eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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