im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
