idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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