I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize