We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
