Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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