i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
