if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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