New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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