I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
