He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
