On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
