Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
