Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
