Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
