I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
