Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
