Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
