her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
