So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
