The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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