dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize