ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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