Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
