he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
