I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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