just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
