We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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