dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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