You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
