Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
