Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
