so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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