u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
